A Distorted View?

I apologize that it's been so long since my last post. Chemo #2 went so much better than the first. I didn't take all the meds presribed for side effects, and I was much more capable of functioning! But one of the really neat (yeah right) side effects of chemo is that the side effects seem to change from treatment to treatment. I awoke on Monday thinking I'd be back with the world only to hurt all over as if I had been badly bruised. Pre-chemo this feeling would have been that I'd just worked out my totally ripped (haha) body just a little too hard. Now, I thought I must be dying!

I had retained about 8 lbs. of fluid, and I sort of looked like a turnip with my face all red and swollen and my head with just a little fuzzy wisp standing straight up. If you've ever wondered how you'd feel looking at yourself in the mirror in the morning and seeing a vegetable looking back, save yourself the trip. It's not fun! I stood there and stared at myself and wondered how, in such a short period of time, I could have changed so much. And then I cried. And I felt really, really sorry for myself and for everyone who had to look at me. Then I prayed. I prayed that God would heal me. I prayed that He would lift me out of this nightmare. I prayed that He'd save me from all of it. And then I realized that He already had.

Each of us has a distorted view of who we are. Sometimes, we see ourselves as more beautiful than we are. And sometimes, we look in the mirror and can only see how unworthy we are. In either case, our Father in Heaven knows just who we are. He really doesn't care that we're having a bad hair day (or no hair day), or that we are wearing a great suit. He sees who we really are. And He still cares.

As you go through your day today, know that you are deeply loved even in those moments when you yourself feel like a turnip.

Grace and Peace to all of you.