A bit late....

Greetings dear friends,

I apologize that I've been remiss in writing of late. I've started to on a couple of occasions, but couldn't do it. It's been a rough week. I had my 4th chemo last Thursday (21st), and at first, it was amazing. No sickness. No bloating. Lots of energy. Then Sunday evening I started swelling and then on Monday I started getting a strange rash. By Wednesday, I was so uncomfortable I was simply worn out. But yesterday, I started on a regimen of Steroids (yuck....I hate them!), and I feel much better. I'm looking forward to taking on #5, armed with my steroids to scare away the bumps. Then November 2, I'm done with chemotherapy, Praise God! Okay, got that out. Now on to better things.

What a gorgeous day! Today I had to make a run down to Northside, and I was so pleased that I got stuck in traffic. I opened my sun roof, turned up my music, and just breathed in the clean (okay, somewhat polluted) , cool air (I had my shades on and my good wig in place) And I was overwhelmed with the realization that life is precious and good if we embrace the beauty and fight for the good.

Danielle and I are trying to get her prepared for the 3-Day walk to support breast cancer research. To all of you who have donated, I want to thank you. She has surpassed her goal of raising $3,000, and she is so excited about making this dream a reality by walking her 60 miles. She and others have now formed a team and are calling themselves the "Asphalt Angels". Pretty cool I'd say. Two of them are teenage friends of Danielle. Their names are Blakely and Christy. You'll see the link to their fundraising pages on this site (I've removed D's cause she's done with fundraising). The way the 3-day works is that each walker has to raise $2,200 in order to walk. Both Blakely and Christie have a bit yet to go. My cousin Julie and my good friend Jane Densmore are also on the team. I've placed a link to each of their sites as well. If you feel led to do so, visit one of the sites and make a commitment to help. Sadly, statistics say all of us will be personally affected in some way by cancer, and the best way to minimize that is to support a cause that truly makes a difference. I know from personal experience that the Susan Komen Foundation really does make a huge difference and without this fundraising, my chance of survival would be minimized greatly.

In the days to come, I am committed to getting back on track with writing. Know that I have not stopped praying for you and others. Know that I have not lost faith that God is healing me spiritually, emotionally, and physically during this time. And know that I am thankful to all of you who continue to pray for me and Rick and our family. I am overwhelmed by the calls I get with people simply praying to my answering machine - how totally cool is that? I save the recordings, and when I need a reminder of whose I am, I just rewind.

God is amazing and each of us has a special place in His heart.

Later...

Little Boys

Rick, me, and Danielle

Me, D, Brian and Debra - just before the screaming began!

This past weekend, my older brother, Steve, and his family came to Atlanta so that I could baptize my Great Nephew (ugh....that makes me feel old!), Brian. Brian just turned two, and he is a bundle of little boy fun! Our first adventure was climbing the stairs from our foyer to our upper floor. It was a huge adventure that brought a huge smile to Brian's face - and I'll admit I was grinning from ear to ear as well. I thought to myself, I guess I can still keep up with a two-year old even though I'm a bit out of practice with the whole small child gig.

Then we moved to our back deck, where my Jack Russell Hannah thought Brian would make a great playmate. They ran around alot together, but then settled down to dinner. Hannah is a great- natured dog who loves children, so she didn't mind sharing her food with Brian one bit! When Debra, Brian's mom, saw him pick up a piece and start to put it in his mouth, I assured her that kids only do that once and spit it out. So she allowed him to partake. Only problem was - he liked it! I guess GIRLS spit it out. Boys are an entirely different animal (I think I really mean that literally after a 24 hours with Brian!). The rest of the evening it took all 6 adults to keep up with young Brian.

I'll admit that a part of the attention I paid Brian was to ensure that he would fall head over heals in love with me so that on Saturday morning for the baptism, he wouldn't fuss when I would oh so gently disperse water onto his young head. Danielle was assisting me with the bowl, and I made sure we filled it with warm, soothing water so as not to upset my young friend. Well, all seemed to be going very well as I placed that soothing water on his head and he gazed up at me with those precious eyes and beautiful boyish grin, and I thought - hey - I did it! But one second later as I began to pray over him, he decided the bapitsm was over and began to scream, loudly.

Having 3 girls and being one myself, I was not prepared for Brian. I realize now that God knew what he was doing when he gave me girls and not boys. Boys are way too energetic and they don't mind making a mess. They actually do things like stick pine bark and dog food into their mouths and like it. They eat on the run. They don't like to be restrained in any fashion, not even for a hug.

A different breed, indeed. But oh how he stole my heart. What a blessing it is to see the complete satisfaction on a child's face at the simple things. Looking down from an upstairs landing (that he has just conquered) and seeing his grandpa smiling up at him from below. Being licked in the face by a Jack Russell Terrier named Hannah. And being swung upsidedown by a great aunt with no hair (in the photos above I'm wearing one of my two Cranial Prostheses--the non-sexy one).

God is good. I am blessed.

"No, I am not a little train, and I don't think I can!"

Well, as I have admitted, this last chemo treatment was very difficult for me. At about day 5 of being swollen up (Rick likes to refer to it as the less intense-sounding, all inclusive female term of "puffy") and everything tasting and smelling bad, I told my nurse, Kathy, that I was over all of this. I was ready to say no more treatments - I'll take my chances with cancer thank you very much. Some things in life are just too much of a challenge, and all of us has faced a moment when we either wanted to say "no more" or we actually gave up.

Last night in my bible study I was reminded of a guy who faced a far greater challenge than I've ever considered and even though he made alot of noise about saying "no", he didn't run, he didn't hide. He put one foot in front of another, opened his mouth and spoke when he thought he couldn't , and did what he knew he had to do. I'm talking about Moses here. You know, the guy that Charleton Heston made famous in the Ten Commandments. Turns out that if you read the actual text in the Bible, Moses was not a whole lot like the character portrayed by Charleton Heston. I doubt he was tall. I really doubt he was studly. And He certainly couldn't remember his lines. The text says he was scared to death (I'm paraphrasing). He told God he was a lousy public speaker. He told him he was rather slow and couldn't really even write down what he should say. And yet, God told him to go to Pharoah, the most powerful and feared dude around, and stand up and tell him what God was prepared to do to make him let His people go. Now that's a challenge.

What Moses soon learned, and what I get reminded of pretty regularly, is that God had his back. God provided someone to help write the speech and to stand with him and help him talk until Moses figured out he could do it. And in my struggle with chemo, I woke up on about day 6 or 7 after this last treatment and went for a prayer walk and cried and cried because God was saying - enough about quitting already. Remember how I got in your face and got you to go to the doctor in the first place? Remember that I have a purpose for your life and you have more work to do? Busted. Again.

I am not a little train, and I often don't think I can. But I know He can. How about you? Seen any burning bushes lately? Peace.

It's been awhile

Greetings friends,

First, let me apologize that it's taken me so long to write. Chemo #3 seemed uneventful at first, but then I had to have another shot of Neulasta for WBC (white blood count) and things got progressively worse. Back to looking like a blowfish and feeling really lousy. But alas, it's been a week or so since the worst of it and I'm headed down to my home gym to try my best to hold on to what's left of my wastline.

Yesterday I went for bloodwork and found that my RBC's (red blood cells) have tanked as well, so to avoid a blood transfusion (yuck!), I got a shot of Procrit. Same side effects as Neaulasta - just not as severe they tell me. I'll have those weekly now - Neulasta just after chemo.

So.....the fight continues. I've got God forging the path in front of me, and many of you walking along with me. Thanks so much for your continued prayers.